Tuesday, January 25, 2011

How cold is your neck?

Just returned from a meeting at the school.  I am the class art mom for my younger daughter.  I know what you are all thinking and no I will not be teaching them to make bongs or ashtrays.  A lesson plan is prepared each month and I just follow it.  I don't know how I got roped into this one but here I am art mom for the year.
So as I am sitting at this meeting with all the other moms I notice that one mom is wearing an all grey turtle neck sweater.  The neck of the sweater (would this be called the turtle?) is not rolled down at all it is straight up. As this is a long neck piece it goes up over and covers most her chin.  In the back and sides it is up to her ears.  She totally looked like a baby head coming out a vagina.  Every time she talked her chin would dart in and out of the big neck piece like how you push and the baby head comes out a little, then goes back in.
Totally distracting I really don't know what this month’s art project is now, maybe I will have them make the ashtrays.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Star of the week

My youngest daughter is star of the week at school this week. She has been waiting on this since the first day of school and it is finally her turn.  Star of the week involves the child bringing something to school which represents them each day of the week. This is also known as mommy torture.    This is one of the things that would normally cause me huge anxiety.   Some moms turn their big poster of the child into a full blown scrapbooking event which in turn makes all the other moms appear to not live up to their high standards.    F those moms by the way.   Back when I worked full time and was always trying to make my kids feel so special when I couldn’t be there for all their stuff I would sometimes go a little over board.  I had to have the creative poster, the best snack blah blah blah.  Now that I am the Slummy Mummy I just don’t give a flip.  I let her decorate her poster about her all by herself; I didn’t even complain and nag for her to use her best writing.  I let her cut out pictures to put on it and even draw the one of herself (unheard of by some moms I am sure, some would insisted that a professional glossy photo be used, after all they are only star of the week but once in a school year).  We are on the Tuesday portion of the star of the week event which is when the star gets to provide a snack to the entire class (yeah what BS is this, if I was the star I would want snacks provided to me thank you very much).  I find out last night that it isn’t only a snack I will be bestowing upon these children it should be my child’s favorite snack and I am to include the recipe which will then be included in the classroom cook book.   Let me tell all you who don’t have children… this means competition!!  Who will have the best recipe, the most original or the healthiest?  Oh geez did my mind start to go crazy.  Then it came back to me, I am no longer that mom.
My daughter and went to the kitchen to cook her snack.  We choice brownies (both of us love them) below I have provided you the recipe for you to share and enjoy.
1 – Go to Yokes and buy a box of brownie mix.
2 – Prepare brownies as directed on back of box.  Be sure the child does as much of the work as they can.
3 – Put brownies in oven.
4 – While brownies cook spend time with your child reading or just being together.
5 – Remove from oven and enjoy.

Suck it all you overachiever moms.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Like a good neighbor..

It is 4:30 am and I am on my way to the airport for a drop off and then the gym.  Just started the car to warm it up.  I accidently laid on the key fob leaning over from the passanger seat to start it and set off the alarm.  I bet the neighbors are pissed.  Happy Tuesday cul-de-sac.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Random observations from today

~ The food court line at the north Division Costco is not the Jersey Shore.  Please remove your big a$$ sunglasses before you place your order.  I do realize it has been awhile since we have seen the sun in Spokane but get over yourself and your new purchase from Sunglass Hut.
~ The mullet is alive and well at North Central High School.  I feel bad for the poor girl whose father this is.  I bet I had a crush on him in 1984 when he had the same haircut and carried his boom box around the school at lunch break.
~ No matter how slowly you say you want 14 tacos at Jack-In-the Box and the girl repeats it back to you; you still need to check the board to see that she got your order right.  I realize that this was pushing our luck but seriously I didn't ask them to hold or add anything to them.

Maybe I should stick with watching Modern Family

So tonight I was watching Super Nanny.  How messed up is a person that watching this show makes them cry? It isn’t like it is Extreme Home Makeover where some child has an incurable illness or anything; this is rotten kids and lazy parents. And oh yes there is me in the corner wiping tears from my eyes.   I see some dad tell his daughter how much he loves her and gives her a hug, minutes before this girl is bashing her sister in the head.  Now the head bashing is simply like home to me, the father hugging Leave it to Beaver moment isn’t in my memories, so I get all teary.  This should probably be a topic that I should bring up at counseling (if and when I go back) but with all my current messed up stuff I have when will I ever get to that????  After my first husband died I went to a counselor for the first time. During the first appointment my family gets brought up and my mother’s death and my distant father comes into the conversation. By the end of the appointment I made the counselor cry and being the true hidden closet Catholic that I am I felt guilty so I only went back one more time out of courtesy than never saw the woman again.  Maybe she thinks she healed me after two visits, that is my hope cuz I certainly don’t want HER to feel bad.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Okay I am finally doing it

My life is basically one never ending Seinfeld episode.  For years people have been telling me to blog some of the random things that happen to me and my very unique perspective on things.  I am not always politically correct; I just put it out there.  I feel people take themselves way to seriously.  I think once people put their fake walls down and just be real it makes life so much easier.
 I have found in the past few years a great group of friends who are different and every way from me and each other. We mock one another in love and in correction and I love every one of them for their support. This past year I quit my job and went through some huge changes in my life.  I am still soul searching and figuring things out.  I don’t care anymore if people know I have been to counseling (and failed) I just call myself a slummy mummy and make the best of every day.  Some days are easier than others.
Now this blog will not be a day to day journal, it will be flashbacks and random thoughts along with the things that happen that make me stop and think.  Also you need to know that I am a terrible speller and may need to take an ESL class just to make a complete sentence.   I encourage everyone to comment on my posts.  The more insight into life the better.