What Instant Messaging is really used for at work

Names have been edited to protect our jobs

7:42 AM - Slummy Mummy:

i have stuffy running nose.  And my nose is al dry.  I need a zertec.  I am just going to sit here and sniff all day.

7:43 AM - The coworker:

my nose and my gimpy eye are causing me problems.  Apparently the cocaine we sniffed was low quality ???

7:45 AM - Slummy Mummy:

i think so.  at lunch lets find that dealer and put a cap in his ass. 

Thank goodness for caller ID - I guess

So yesterday Princess Worthless was home alone most the day.  When I got home this is the conversation:

PW- mom my school called today

M- really

PW- yeah I looked when the phone rang and it said XXXX School District

M – what did they want

PW -  I don’t know I didn’t answer

M – why not

PW- cuz it was my school